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| Time: | 10:36pm |
| Mood: | aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. | | Music: | what. |
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hi kids! I MAEK POST
you should probably unfriend me already
DO IT
also why did nobody ever punch me in the face for making my journal so eye-bleedingly ugly
ok i luv u buhbye
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Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
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| Time: | 6:55pm |
| Mood: | tentative. | | Music: | REmake - Contaminated. |
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I think I might start really posting again in this thing, after.. how many months is it? Too many.
I tried all manner of other journalling methods- offline, separate website- I just didn't like any of them as much as LJ. Even if LJ does suck these days. I'll just make sure I stay away from that mess.
It hinges upon whether or not I can redesign this journal so it's not so...red... any more. Hurgh. I love you, Red Octopus theme, but..not any more. Time for you to gogogo.
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Monday, September 27th, 2004
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O MY, WUTZ DIS?
yes, yes, i'm doing fine, for any of you who actually care I HATE MY LIFE AND I WANT TO DIE haha just kidding.
anyway, life's been good so far. yeah, i said i would never post again, but I've got a much better reason this time than just rambling about my [still] boring life.
so, to get the rambling over with, i'm going to summarize it in a sequence of small notes that may or may not make sense.
-stopped updating on livejournal.
-went to Key West, Pompano Beach only one week before hurricanes started hitting
-saw lots of anime, played plenty of games.
-found out Jamie has IRC channel.
-joined Jamie's IRC channel.
-started school.
-now play mechwarrior 4 and unreal championship obsessively.
HOHOHO. actually there's more but I can't remember it.
ANYWAY, it's time for the POINT OF THIS POST.
OMG SPECIAL OFFER
if you are on my friends list, as of today, Monday, September 27th, 2004..
I will be more than glad to send you anything you want out of my collection of stuff. as much as you want. through the medium of your choice.
UH OH, it's...
THE FAQ ON THIS SPECIAL OFFER OMG!
Q. Hi! I want everything you have!
A. no.
Q. Hi! I want 10/20/40 GB of stuff!
A. no. die.
Q. So how much CAN I download from you?
A. it's subjective, depending upon what you're downloading, but the default will be 250 MB, per person, per week.
Q. What do you have?
A. I have:
( THE LIST! )
Q. WTF IS _________[name of something]
A. If you have any questions about any of this stuff, just leave a comment or an email or an IM or something.
Q. omg y rnt u sdending my sutff nwo?!?!?!?!?!1
A. I will send requests in the order that I receive them.
Q. How long is this offer valid for?
A. 4EVA!
Q. Wait, what if I wasn't on your friends list when you put this up, but I still want something?
A. I H8 U!!!1 DIE! no, really: Contact me and we'll talk about it.
Q. Will you be my boyfriend?
A. That depends, but most likely no.
Q. How will you send this stuff to me?
A. Well, you have first pick on the client, but if I differ in opinion on the best way to send it, we'll do it my way. Which is usually just FTP.
Q. Why are you doing this?
A. I dunno really. I got in a really good mood one day, I guess.
Q. I need to contact you!
A. Email me at restlessdreams@gmail.com or dragonian@triad.rr.com.
Q. I don't want to send an email!
A. i'm also at "yamiaaden" on AIM or "mystereleo" on Yahoo, or "dragonian@triad.rr.com" on MSN. But, you're really better off sending me an email, or arranging a conversation with me, because i'm not always on them. In fact, i'm rarely on them.
Q. ARGH YOU'RE FLOODING MY FRIENDS PAGE AND I HATE YOU DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
A. this will be my last post for a very long time, and if it's that big of a problem, i'll just LJ-cut it at the first person who wants me to. I'm just making it huge so people won't say "OMG U NEVAR TODL ME!!!!111111111"
Q. There's something I want, but it's not here!
A. well first I suggest you ask me, and see if I can find it.
Also, I will probably update this list as I add [or remove] things. If you want to be notified whenever I make significant changes to this list, just tell me.
K so that's it. you can leave comments here, or IM me, or email me. whichever you like.
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sweethearts i've come back for the penultimate moment.
okay.
after days and weeks and months of contemplation i have come to the following conclusions:
i do not like livejournal any more. i just don't. i'd get into the details but it would end up being a bloody divorce of sorts.
i am going to end this journal permanently. as in, i am not going to post in this journal ever again. delete me if i was only there to fill your friends page.
instead of spending massive amounts of time without messengers on livejournal, now i'm just going to passively sit around on messengers[nobody much talks to me there anyway probably because i either avoid conversations with people i don't like talking to or am not comfortable talking to. don't get me wrong, the two are completely different things.]
if you would like to pursue conversations or friendship, please, by all means message me, or if you're shy, comment or email me or whatever and i'll message you sometime. i'd jump on this opportunity with a few of you, but i don't want to intrude.
so there. this is the end of this journal sweetie darlings, i might and probably will continue to comment, so if you enjoy my comments then don't get rid of me just yet.
it's been real fun, but all good things must come to an end.
-love, aaden
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i've looked at life from both sides now
from win or lose and still somehow
it's just illusions I recall
i really don't know, i really don't know
i really don't know, i really don't, i don't know
this journal, until further notice, is closed.
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Wednesday, July 7th, 2004
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okay i'm going to share one of my super special secrets again.
http://www.emotiondump.com/
i really, really suggest anyone who looks at this just take a look at the site. it's a fantastic concept, and it works every time for me. sometimes even I can't tell who I am on there =]
not only does it do a good job of being cathartic, but if you sit and read it it'll make you feel a little better, usually.
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i like music that sounds dirty. not like sexual dirty, just messy and grungy. not grunge like the music style, like dirty. but not like sexual. like real dirt, except you can hear it. like it's pressing down on my throat and it's dying on top of me and it's bleeding slowly and all i can do is breathe in it's blood.
it makes me want to writhe on the floor and rub my hands through my hair
and smoke cigarettes while laying half-dead in an empty street when it's raining
yes. no.
no. no. yes.
yes. no. yes. yes.
no. no. yes. no. no.
yes. no. yes. yes. no. yes.
[no, i didn't go insane. i promise.]
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so, out of terrible paranoia, i started using PeerGuardian.
for just one small program, it sure does make me feel safer while torrenting. RIAA? no way, sucka! MPAA? oh no you didn't!
AND IT MAKES ME FEEL SO SAFE, did i mention that? it even tells me EVERY TIME it checks an IP in it's little window ;__; if jesus were a program, he would be this one.
and apparently torrenting is a lot more vulnerable than I thought. i've only been running it for about 10 minutes and it already caught one person on it's blocklist...creepy...
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| Time: | 2:17am |
| Mood: | I AM A HIPPY.. | | Music: | jefferson airplane, duh. |
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i love the X-Files episode Chinga. it's so funny.
"i want to play!
let's have fun!
don't play with matches.
don't play with knives.
let's play with the hammer!"
i'm going to make an icon out of that.
omigod i'm in heaven. i have the 3 disc "Jefferson Airplane Loves You" set. FANTASTICBEYONDMYWILDESTDREAMS.
[for those of you who do not know, Jefferson Airplane is the greatest band the 60's ever spawned. unfortunately, Grace did a little bit too much acid and came up with Jefferson Starship, which was not the greatest band of the 70's/80's. We Built This City on Rock and Roll? worst. song. EVER.]
i feel like a hippy. THIS REQUIRES IMMEDIATE ACTION. don't you waaant somebody to love...lululalala...aaaaaa..aaaaaaoooo..
[yes, sleep deprivation again, i seriously need to get out of this habit or it's going to screw me over.]
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I HAVE TIRAMISU. ooh god, coffee-italianny-goodness..
i acquired GTA3 for the PC today and discovered the lovely function of being able to create your own personal radio station, which i did. terribly fun.
gamers today bug me. a lot. I also recently acquired the lurvely Megaman Battle Network 4 Blue Moon [alex got Red Sun]. and I was perousing the reviews and messageboards on gamefaqs and discovered several reviews which were less than educated.
the problem I have is that people judge the worth of a series game based upon the other games in the series. nobody can EVER accept that a game MIGHT be good on it's own, and bring something totally fresh to the table, Examples of this in the past coming true? Metroid Prime. i win.
however back to the point: MMBN4 does not necessarily bring a WHOLE NEW game to the table, just some very fun and creative adjustments. these people over at gamefaqs complain about the removal of the "Guts" system. okay, how long can we do that before it gets old?
deck slowdown? well in the past 2 games I was able to construct chip decks that could have ANYBODY down and out in a matter of seconds. it NEEDED slowdown to make the game interesting. darkness? well if you get upset about your HP going down, DON'T USE THEM.
lesson learned: stop comparing games in a series to the other games. most games, if they were given a proper chance, would be really good. just..grr..
the same thing happened with Metroid Fusion. because people couldn't fecking sequence break, they pissed all over it. oh WAH, most of us when we were just starting out didn't even know what sequence breaking WAS. got upset with the computer leading you around? get over it!
ooh, now i'm steamed. i better go before this rant gets any longer. mmm..tiramisu..
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Wednesday, June 30th, 2004
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newest LJ-fads:
-inserting stars into your eyes on your icon. [growing fad]
-icons that probably could be considered works of art within themselves. you know, the flashy gradients and effects and stuff that require more than a dinky little filter? especially sophisticated animations. [well established fad]
~some of these people actually have true icon making talent. hey, if you're that good, why stick to just a 100x100 canvas? on the other side, these icons can be really dull and uninteresting if done wrong. especially when you get into the colorizing business, and doing way too much in one 100x100 square. "grunge" icons, especially.
-THE LJ-CUT. people used to complain about it NOT being used, and now it's used way too much. it's okay to have a medium or large sized post! really, it is! it's just nobody wants to have 49 pictures of your cat clogging up their friends page, or a 90 question long survey on "how goth am i" [out of control fad]
---------
i got the mega man anniversary collection, and I must say it's quite fun. I got the PS2 version because I couldn't stand the thought of A and B as shoot and jum[ :/ and god forbid dashing.. i'm looking forward to the GBA game now, as I never did get to play those lovely GB games.
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and now, a composition of spam that i have received in my inbox.
Wldroly fame is but a breath of wind that bolws now this way, and now that, and changes name as it changes direction.
a creation of imrpotance can only be porduced when its autohr isolates himeslf, it is a child of solitude. He is every otehr inch a gneletman.
Action is coarenesd thought thought beemocs ctconere, osbcure, and unncoscious.
Only an arm or weapon of the interior energy only the percursor of the reason.
More pnosers, on the wlohe, are humbugged by believing in nothing than by believing in too much. It is because they took the easy way out that rivers, and peolpe, go cedrook.
The hrose, the hrose! The symobl of surging poentcy and pwoer of meevonmt, of action, in man
Yangna yawayangna, debna yisbteneu, ler kee ma tea low per tha naw
so, i hope you have learned today that to respect your beemocs, DON'T go cedrook or be a pnoser, and that hroses are, quite possibly, the most important symbol of masculinity.
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even though it's on PoE today, i thought this image in particular deserved *special* recognition.
oh dear.
now there's muscles, and then there's congenital defects.
EDIT: i have bats in my chimney. COOL.
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hey, it's 5:46 AM on Sunday!!! so what do I do? MAKE LIMEADE AND WAFFLES! i don't know why, but they seem especially tasty.
anyway, here are my little mini-updates, because i'm gathering power stuff for a larger one.
-i got addicted to Aliens vs. Predator 2.
insanely fun although there's not a ton of online play options. mostly clans. and, i don't particularly like clans nowadays. just cause. i've been in some before, i didn't like them, that was the end of that.
there is apparently an "anti-clan" group that just plays as a group, that could be interesting EXCEPT for the fact that they seem to have sort of become inactive.
the rest is just..clan matches. and a bunch of dead channels. blurgh. oh well, guess single player will have to do for now.
-my *special pharmacy* sent me a little tiny beach ball with american flag colors and stars all over it, and a "happy july 4th" card. i don't know why, it just seemed really strange.
-SKYPE. if you need to contact me in a way that a comment here or email cannot suffice to do, do it with Skype. i'm very rarely online AIM or MSN any more[mostly in the unthinkable hours of the morning], but i'm usually always on Skype. my SN is "superhippy-9000". don't complain about me making you install stuff because if it's important enough for you to install Skype just to contact lil' ol' me it's probably worth it =) skype's not a giant messenger deal like Yahoo or anything, though.
-relatively close family members [3] convened with Dave and Donna and I today for dinner at a japanese restaraunt.
afterwards, we proceeded to walk along the plaza [as a group] to a Lowes Foods, and purchase: coffee cake, grapes, coffee, vanilla ice cream, and a magazine on dogs.
said event has been classified as "the Dunnagan Family grocery trip"
i'm considering mailing Joe a homemade postcard of a picture that Carolyn took of Dave and I sitting with a headless scarecrow on a bench, that reads "Wishing You Were Here".
my waffles are getting cold. time to go consume them!
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| Time: | 6:21am |
| Mood: | i feel asleeprrrrrrrrrrg. | | Music: | aimee mann - momentum. |
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after only two days of total loss of sleep, i feel like i haven't slept in months.
fuck.
i was going to make fun of some artist on ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) vcl_horrors but i decided to scrap the picture at the last moment because i didn't really like it. 10 minutes of effort, tops.
oh well. here it is.
( mr. square hates you )
it feels like if i stay awake a minute longer i'm going to die.
*insert geometric proof here*
*postulate*
*theorem*
*corollary*
solution: more x-files- the best cure for insomnia.
and i know life is getting shorter
i can't bring myself to set the scene
even when it's approaching torture,
i've got my routine
- aimee mann, "momentum"
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Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004
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okayokayokay, i guess i owe an explanation as to where i've been, and i get to do it in amusing educational anecdote form too!
so, over the past few weeks i've had some gradually worsening chest pain which was especially bad when i moved or breathed[basically anytime i was awake lol], and for the past few days it was just killing me, along with some stomach pain which turned out to be unrelated[i had actually initially linked the two]. so after i had finally decided that my fscking codiene wasn't cutting it and i was tired of laying around in bed and sleeping, I payed a little visit to mr. doctor man on monday.
so, after he examines me and did a few tests on me, he says to me, more or less that "you have costochondritis".
"holy crap, what the hell is costochondritis?" is the first question that leapt to my mind. i couldn't remember it at all from anything i'd ever studied.
medical lesson: anything that ends with "itis" is not good, because it means something is inflamed.
and, for the life of me i couldn't figure out what costo or chondro meant. for a second there i was like "oh shit, this is gonna suck really hard."
turns out it's just basically just when the joints between the rib and the breastbone get really, really inflamed.
nobody knows what really causes it, but it usually just subsides without treatment, which is what happened for me today FINALLY, it just kinda trailed off after a while.
it did freak me out when he told me for a second there because it had been some really nasty pain, enough to influence me as i said before to take codiene and sleep several days away. i just hope i never get it again, cause it majorly sucks..
anyway the whole stomach thing was just some kind of dumb temporary stomach virus that's been going around. it's 3:40, i shouldn't be awake. beeed time.
oh boy it's an EDIT: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) faeryhideout and shimmer_pink i'm sorry if you've been there a while[i don't check my friends list thinger much any more], please do excuse me. i added you back.
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| Time: | 7:20pm |
| Mood: | geeky. | | Music: | microwave..beep..beep..beep..beep..beep..beep... |
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196 episodes of X-Files.
average episode running time of 45 minutes. [roughly. i don't have the patience to do the actual average episode time so i just went with 45 minutes.]
final episode is 2 hours long.
195 x 45 = 8775 minutes
8775 + 120 = 8895 minutes
8895/60 = 148 hours and 15 minutes
148.25/24 = 6 days, 4 hours and 30 minutes of viewing time.
i'm going to get "loser" tattooed backwards on my forehead so i see it whenever i look in the mirror, just to remind me :D
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if i see one more “abstract wave” or “vortex” or “grunge” tutorial on Good Tutorials.com, i’m going to blow up the internet. and Adobe.
YES. I know how to do grunge. YES. i know how to do abstract waves[which are, in essence, nothing but the following three: filters, filters, filters.] YES. i can make a vortex [omg lol i know how to use filterz lol!!!!!!!!!!111111]
there does NOT need to be 6 freaking new tutorials each day on how to make some incredibly dumb, TOTALLY random effect you’ll NEVER use, or that there’s approximately 2.3 million other tutorials on how to do, most of them better than yours.
i am tired of reading tutorials that are in effect, somebody goofing around with shapes and filters and then calling it a tutorial. I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO DO SOMETHING I CAN USE IN ART, not to learn how to make “a wavey plasma super electric nova infinite jelly light tunnel blast!!!” this is not Sailor Moon, this is PHOTOSHOP.
now shut up and make a good tutorial or i’ll sic my crystal rainbow flower glowing beam web swirl ball on you.
boy, ranting sure makes me tired. bedtime now.
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crazy speculation:
after listening to Waiting For You a zillion times, the thought struck me: is it supposed to be "Mary"/Maria singing? listen to the lyrics really carefully. actually, part of it sounds like what "Mary" would say in James' mind, and what James would say.
it DOES say "Live at Heaven's Night!" and remember where Maria apparently worked, given from her having a key to the place and the poster reference in SH3?
here's how I break it down:
“I'm here and waiting for you” is “Mary”/Maria,
“Where are you, I can’t find you” is James.
the whole “why would she come back now, does she have someone she loves more than me” and sounds like James all the way to me. why would Mary suddenly appear again? and everyone always wonders at some time about their lover if they love someone else.
“there’s nothing left within my lonely room without you” and “is there nothing i can do, wonder if you hear my thoughts” remind me of parts of Mary’s letter, and how in the end of the game you sort of discover the letter was fabricated by James’ thoughts.
a lot of the lyrics i can’t understand, but i’m pretty sure of the ones i’ve put here..
or maybe i'm wrong altogether and it's a SH4 reference. that’s probably it. it just seems to ring “SH2!” in my mind.
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omgomgomg. this song kicks so much ass. and I thought You're Not Here was my favorite Silent Hill song.
i love the silent hill 4 ost. it makes me want to play it so much more now..
i'm here and waiting for you, i'll wait forever for you..
where are you, i can't find you..
i..can't stop singing it..
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